i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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