Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
