k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
