If i come over, it means nothing
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
