I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
