Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
