and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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