Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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