pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
