I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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