so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
