What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
barbara walters just said penis...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
