I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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