i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
