she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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