am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
