the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
