yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
