i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
