This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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