I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
