No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
