so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
