I got chris browned last night
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You can't special order awesome
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
