Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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