you have to choose: penises or morals?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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