I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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