my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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