everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
