i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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