Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
