so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
