i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
There's even glitter on my cock...
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