just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
