I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
