im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
