There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
