If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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