He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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