508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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