1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
