My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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