It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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