Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's great music for shaving your balls
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
