Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
