They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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