I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
