i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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