pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
