Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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