Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
