I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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