Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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