Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
