I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
