I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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