Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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