We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Randomize
