It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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