All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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