Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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