if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
