It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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